TimmyH
My First Retraction
July 19th 2008 01:40
True to Y Generation form, I have been hasty. I wrote yesterday about an incident regarding an elderly woman, a doctor’s office, an offer of a ride and a polite refusal. My reasoning seemed sound, in keeping with the ideas I had running through my mind at the time. Generally I would stop short of saying I was wrong, but there seems to be little other excuse. I was wrong.
Why did this polite old woman ask for a ride from another woman and not accept one from myself? I believed at the time and most of yesterday that it was a purely ageist agenda. But last night I had my own stupidity thrown in my face by someone older and wiser, shocking I know.
The elderly woman declined a lift from a man, not from a Gen Y. She understood that the greatest risk posed to her personal safety in day to day life is posed by men that she does not know. Despite the purest of intentions, there was nothing I could have been wearing, nor anything I could have said or portrayed that would have made the senior comfortable enough to be in a car alone with me.
Time to blame shift. There are two parties at fault here. Me obviously and we will come to that. But firstly, men! Yes, men! We as a Gender are to blame, not individually perhaps, but definitely as a group. Despite the fact that men should respect women and our physical advantages over them (and admittedly we generally do) the minority have ruined it for everyone, and it’s sad. REALLY sad. It’s sad that I, as an honest young man can’t do something for another person which would help them in their lives and cost me very little. Thankyou to all the men who have made it possible for me to be mis-trusted without merit.
But I am not totally without blame here. I should have realised. How did I not see this? I understand that I could simply remove my ridiculous post and pretend this never happened, but I’m hoping that by publically shaming myself I might encourage others to think before they post.
Blogging as we all know has very editorial controls. It’s very easy to just throw an idea around in your head and then blurt it out online. We don’t have subs and editors and publishers and all the people who should tell us to shut our mouths when we have a bad idea. So the onus is on YOU, and ME, to make sure that we don’t spread ridiculous propaganda, or socially irresponsible rubbish. The later was clearly my falling down.
So, in short, being able to say something doesn’t mean you should. Think before you type people.
Why did this polite old woman ask for a ride from another woman and not accept one from myself? I believed at the time and most of yesterday that it was a purely ageist agenda. But last night I had my own stupidity thrown in my face by someone older and wiser, shocking I know.
The elderly woman declined a lift from a man, not from a Gen Y. She understood that the greatest risk posed to her personal safety in day to day life is posed by men that she does not know. Despite the purest of intentions, there was nothing I could have been wearing, nor anything I could have said or portrayed that would have made the senior comfortable enough to be in a car alone with me.
Time to blame shift. There are two parties at fault here. Me obviously and we will come to that. But firstly, men! Yes, men! We as a Gender are to blame, not individually perhaps, but definitely as a group. Despite the fact that men should respect women and our physical advantages over them (and admittedly we generally do) the minority have ruined it for everyone, and it’s sad. REALLY sad. It’s sad that I, as an honest young man can’t do something for another person which would help them in their lives and cost me very little. Thankyou to all the men who have made it possible for me to be mis-trusted without merit.
But I am not totally without blame here. I should have realised. How did I not see this? I understand that I could simply remove my ridiculous post and pretend this never happened, but I’m hoping that by publically shaming myself I might encourage others to think before they post.
Blogging as we all know has very editorial controls. It’s very easy to just throw an idea around in your head and then blurt it out online. We don’t have subs and editors and publishers and all the people who should tell us to shut our mouths when we have a bad idea. So the onus is on YOU, and ME, to make sure that we don’t spread ridiculous propaganda, or socially irresponsible rubbish. The later was clearly my falling down.
So, in short, being able to say something doesn’t mean you should. Think before you type people.
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Comment by Journeywoman
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Fashion Peach
Personally I understand why the lady didn't accept a ride from you, but I think you need a noble thing nonetheless by offering. Good on you.
Comment by katyzzz
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Congratulations, it is very hard to admit one was wrong, especially for men.
It's almost beyond their control.
Good on you Timmy.
Comment by Cibbuano
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Similarly, when it's night, women get very nervous if I'm walking behind them. That's a cruel reality, too, so I just sit at a bus stop for a bit to give them the peace of mind.
Comment by Johnny Come Lately
Jack's Back
Good on ya for posting this.